whenever i think i’m having a bad day, i remember my sister dropped her bag in a pile of shit and i feel better
even better was the time she tripped and slammed her hand in a door while wrecking ball was playing
Tornado blew the roof up, the curtain blew outside, then the roof came back down, trapping the curtain
there’s tuna right next to you but you rather eat some plants.
Love the view
U AINT FLY. U DA OPPOSITE OF FLY. U GROUND. U A GROUND ASS NIGGA. U A FOSSIL. FOSSIL ASS BITCH U AINT GOT NO SWAG.
fun game to play at family events: “how drunk can i get without anyone noticing”
8The night before I had a dream I was in an office building/drs office as it started to collapse. I dont remember how I got out or what happened after.
Last night I had a dream that I was walking to thjs bar that sold cigarettes and bought some but this really handsome rough around the edges guy took my ID and cigs. I started to get mad cus he only wanted to sleep with me so I started making a scene. He gave me my id back but not my cigs. Then I get in my truck to leave and drive over to this elementary school and hide cus their boss is looking for me I guess I made a scene and the guy felt disrespected. Anyway after hiding amongst children I give up and go along with the boss up to the roof and its magically nighttime now. I sit on the steps and I can hear them beating someone. I try not to pay attention so I focus on this bimbo reporter wannabe chick thats trying to walk towards the sound of the guy getting his ass beat. Well I guess she says something disrespectful and the guys kill her too. Then the guy who took my id walks out of the room and basically he beat up the guy who stood up for me in the bar. And then said I was to be his girl. So fuck I go along and try to get a cig but nobody has any and im convinced he still has mine so I get mad. I go to lock up the building after everyone I thought was gone and get in my truck and I decide to drive by his truck and steal my cigs back. I start driving through this long confusing parking lot and as I am driving by what looks like a football field all the lights are on and there are cars driving on the field like a track. Then I woke up.